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Hairless Butt Potter and the Pederast's Dong

Hairless Butt Potter and the Pederast's Dong
Book 1: Boy with the Lightning Tattoo By Patrick McEvoy-Halston and Steig Larsson
Hairless Butt: Uncle, you have me caged in my room and won't sign release forms so I can go on fieldtrips. I'm lonely, isolated -- and without practice in the summer, even my Quidditch is beginning to suck.
Uncle Asshole: You're a sorcerer, the dirtiest human being! You deserve no better! However, you do possess the most admirable hairless butt. How about we put our relationship on more agreeable terms ... If you do something for me, I'll do something for you. ----- Ron: Hairless Butt! It's great that you can visit during the summer now, and that you can join Hermione and me as we go on fieldtrips. How did you manage this?
[Hairless Butt details the sexual services he provides his pederast uncle so that his uncle will give him these minimal allowances. Ron, hoping to become the next Quidditch team captain and join the bros, begins to distance …