Sheen is feeling more and more like OJ driving up the 405,” tweeted David Poland earlier today. “I don’t even think people realize they are just waiting for the gun to go off.” Oy. Well, how about a drive down memory lane instead — to a happier, more innocent time when Charlie Sheen actually volunteered to leave a TV show after a healthy payday. (S.T. Vanairsdale, “Remember Charlie Sheen Really Winning on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?,” Movieline, 2 March 2011)
Every once in a while there appears some celebrity with enough Celebrity to let us feel that if we let loose all our despise upon him/her, s/he can take it all in, and then perhaps kindly die, for a fully restive period of, even-if-short, still-pleasing respite. We've been denied it for quite awhile; keep on getting poor offerings -- already fully dissipated Corey Haim and Gary Coleman -- or being effectively checked, with undeniable momentum-carried-and-respectable-enoughs getting in the way, as Heidi Klum did with Britney Spears, or knowing we at-base really want kept around to become leading examples of the kind of austere reform we all need to undertake for past gross self-allowances, as with what is slowly happening with Tiger Woods. Charlie Sheen has Sylvester -- but his canyness-owed surprise summer success hasn't given him much more cred than box office' has given Gnomeo, so that won't prove enough. If he makes it through, my guess is that it'll owe to our unwillingness to not owe him some for his helping gift our preferred conversation about bottom-rung women: is anything more society-approved or desired these days than a teeth-out hunt for barmaids and hookers?