Skip to main content

By Zeus! You were right!

Of course, lamenting that the old "Clash" is so much better than the new one will take us only so far. Any remake has to stand on its own merits. That said, "Clash of the Titans" still sucks.

[. . .]

The Kraken is big all right, and his design -- a small, turtlish head perched on a gargantuan body -- owes a debt, as so many modern movie creatures do, to H.R. Giger's design for "Alien." But this Kraken is disappointing; there's no glamour or mystery to him. He's overscaled and underwhelming, and even in 3-D, he lacks dimension.

[. . .]

But what about everything Hollywood, with movies like this "Clash of the Titans," is failing to give us? The movie is big all right. But where's the magic? (Stephanie Zacharek, "Clash of the Titans" could make the gods weep,” Salon, 2 April 2010)

I promise you, boredom, demi-gods!

Minor spoilers (leakages):

Kalibos bleeds scorpions that are 500 times more powerful than he is (and Kalibos rips people apart, making him 500 times more powerful than regular-strength Perseus is). Medusa is 500 times more powerful than heroes are. Kraken is about same as original, but here you're left feeling he should have been the size of Jupiter -- the planet, that is -- for right-balance sake.

Good movie to go to credit that your absolute unexceptional normality keeps you well within demi-god range. Have to be able to imagine yourself standing up to parents who promise a lifetime of standing-around and being bored, though.

- - - - - - - - - -

You were right, Zeus! Spare us!

As a further note, I have heard that what in particular marks Art in depression eras is showmanship and spectacle. As someone who was into the 1920s but skipped the rest bit until "It's a Wonderful Life" or so, I'm actually wondering if what Art most tries to prove during these times is that man is about as ordinary, as humble-worthy, as disapproving fore-fathers decreed. If depressions are Adam after Eden, willed proof of our own sinful nature, that is -- which is what I think they are -- then maybe what people most want now are a steady flow of films like this that have you thinking that maybe the last 5 000 years of artistic accomplishment were just a fluke after all -- that this steady flow of junk is true proof of all we're made of and all we should subsequently expect. It's our way, perhaps, of suffering the depression, without incurring the release of the Kraken.

Link: “Clash of the Titans” could make the gods weep (Salon)


Popular posts from this blog

Superimposing another "fourth-wall" Deadpool

I'd like to superimpose the fourth-wall breaking Deadpool that I'd like to have seen in the movie. In my version, he'd break out of the action at some point to discuss with us the following:
1) He'd point out that all the trouble the movie goes to to ensure that the lead actress is never seen completely naked—no nipples shown—in this R-rated movie was done so that later when we suddenly see enough strippers' completely bared breasts that we feel that someone was making up for lost time, we feel that a special, strenuous effort has been made to keep her from a certain fate—one the R-rating would even seemed to have called for, necessitated, even, to properly feed the audience expecting something extra for the movie being more dependent on their ticket purchases. That is, protecting the lead actress was done to legitimize thinking of those left casually unprotected as different kinds of women—not as worthy, not as human.   

2) When Wade/Deadpool and Vanessa are excha…

"The Zookeeper's Wife" as historical romance

A Polish zoologist and his wife maintain a zoo which is utopia, realized. The people who work there are blissfully satisfied and happy. The caged animals aren't distraught but rather, very satisfied. These animals have been very well attended to, and have developed so healthily for it that they almost seem proud to display what is distinctively excellent about them for viewers to enjoy. But there is a shadow coming--Nazis! The Nazis literally blow apart much of this happy configuration. Many of the animals die. But the zookeeper's wife is a prize any Nazi officer would covet, and the Nazi's chief zoologist is interested in claiming her for his own. So if there can be some pretence that would allow for her and her husband to keep their zoo in piece rather than be destroyed for war supplies, he's willing to concede it.

The zookeeper and his wife want to try and use their zoo to house as many Jews as they can. They approach the stately quarters of Hitler's zoologist …

"Life" as political analogy, coming to you via Breitbart News

Immediately after seeing the film, I worked over whether or not the movie works as something the alt-right would produce to alienate us from the left. Mostly the film does work this way  -- as a sort of, de facto, Breitbart production -- I decided, though it's not entirely slam-dunk. There is no disparagement evident for the crew of the space station being a multicultural mix, for instance. Race is not invisible in the film; it feels conspicuous at times, like when the Japanese crew member is shown looking at his black wife on video conference; but the film maker, wherever he was actually raised, seems like someone who was a longtime habitat of a multicultural milieu, some place like London, and likes things that way. But the film cannot convince only as macabre relating to our current fascination with the possibility of life on Mars -- what it no doubt pretends to be doing -- because the idea of “threat” does not permeate this interest at all, whereas it absolutely saturates our …