Skip to main content

Tiger draws back

The Tiger Woods drama can't be bottomless -- or can it? Eventually we're bound to hit bedrock, but fear not, because that day is surely not this one. By the time you finish reading this sentence, another eight women will have come forward to say they tapped that PGA ass, and a lurid video or voice mail will have been released and reached 8 million hits on YouTube.
Let's bring it up to speed. We've got endorsement dropping! A possible VIP coochie-procuring ring! The inevitable busty cougarangle! The suddenly ironic last interview! And three words:Crazy. Ambien. Sex. (Mary Elizabeth Williams, “Your daily Tiger Woods,” Salon, 15 Dec. 2009)

Declaring fealty
When myriad steroid scandals were finally overwhelming the flexed bulk of big-leaguers, when every man with a capacious smile was being brought down, Tiger might even have sensed his current morph no longer suited the current taste. Someone said he's a republican. My guess is that we'll see him start dressing more priestly and join amongst Obama's ranks, as a man now most commited to rebuilding America. The lords will fall, and we will have but one king.
Urgent Question to our Media: Why now??
A scandal this broad and deep doesn't happen overnight. A huge number of people knew about this and yet it never saw the light of day.
Kind of puts lie to the idea that there can't be a conspiracy about the Kennedy assassination because people would spill, eh?
Why now?? (tnmc, response to post, “Your daily Tiger Woods,” Salon, 15 Dec. 2009)

Re: Why right now?
You'd think with republicans crying everyday about encroaching communism, that the upcoming age would be of a lot more of what we've seen lately: Glenn Becks rallying independents against Obama overlay. In such an age, you'd figure stand-outs, stand-alones -- like Tiger -- would continue to be buoyed by popular support, and their transgressions unfocussed on, truly unseen, even if so well before our eyes.
But all this talk of bend-over-and-touch-their- ankles rankles, on part of republicans, is in my judgment -- and whatever the bombast -- just the moment of concern and alarm before jumping in where the water's well warm. That is, we think they're going militia when in fact they are actually going Obama -- they will join up with him, as Obama proves a military king mostly concerned to stamp out progressive-ingrates, the weak, needy, and "selfish" (i.e., the young and the poor), who will come to seem the nation's worst problem. That is, I think people, en mass, are about to lose themselves to the group, and in such an era, as in the army, individual personality must be dissolved. So whither Tiger, in his current guise. He was bound to join the pack: the girls were / are the easiest way to precipitate this, so we used it now, but we would have used anything. Not with scandals, of course, but something similar will / is occuring with Oprah. It started just before the election, when she went Oprah / Obama, and never quite left. Obama, his minions, and the horribly at risk, is about where we're headed, unless we able Salonistas figure out a way to head it off. I would just love it if we could pull off a Silverado. That'd be awesome.


Popular posts from this blog

Full conversation about "Bringing Up Baby" at the NewYorker Movie Facebook Club

Richard Brody shared a link.Moderator · November 20 at 3:38pm I'm obsessed with Bringing Up Baby, which is on TCM at 6 PM (ET). It's the first film by Howard Hawks that I ever saw, and it opened up several universes to me, cinematic and otherwise. Here's the story. I was seventeen or eighteen; I had never heard of Hawks until I read Godard's enthusiastic mention of him in one of the early critical pieces in "Godard on Godard"—he called Hawks "the greatest American artist," and this piqued my curiosity. So, the next time I was in town (I… I was out of town at college for the most part), I went to see the first Hawks film playing in a revival house, which turned out to be "Bringing Up Baby." I certainly laughed a lot (and, at a few bits, uncontrollably), but that's not all there was to it. I had never read Freud, but I had heard of Freud, and when I saw "Bringing Up Baby," its realm of symbolism made instant sense; it was obviou…

"The Zookeeper's Wife" as historical romance

A Polish zoologist and his wife maintain a zoo which is utopia, realized. The people who work there are blissfully satisfied and happy. The caged animals aren't distraught but rather, very satisfied. These animals have been very well attended to, and have developed so healthily for it that they almost seem proud to display what is distinctively excellent about them for viewers to enjoy. But there is a shadow coming--Nazis! The Nazis literally blow apart much of this happy configuration. Many of the animals die. But the zookeeper's wife is a prize any Nazi officer would covet, and the Nazi's chief zoologist is interested in claiming her for his own. So if there can be some pretence that would allow for her and her husband to keep their zoo in piece rather than be destroyed for war supplies, he's willing to concede it.

The zookeeper and his wife want to try and use their zoo to house as many Jews as they can. They approach the stately quarters of Hitler's zoologist …